I recently wrote about embracing the transitions that we each go through in life. In this post I want to explore some strategies that can help us improve our relationship with ourselves and our general sense of well-being. Low self-esteem can lead us to doubt our value and abilities. It can hold us back from exploring new growth or achieving long-desired dreams and goals or dealing with a life challenge or an unexpected obstacle we’re facing.
Maybe you’ve decided you’d like to start exercising more regularly or you’d like to expand your friendship circle or perhaps you’re considering a new career path. Or you may want to make changes in a relationship that leaves you feeling depleted or guilty. When we experience self doubt it can often be difficult to figure out how to move forward. If we don’t take the time to build a healthy relationship with ourselves, we may not have the confidence to start and finish change, whatever it is.
Getting to Know You
By focusing attention on you and getting to know your internal life you can begin to see more clearly the things supporting you as well as the obstacles preventing you from feeling good about yourself and moving toward your objectives. Expanding self-awareness is a vital first step on the path to building your self-esteem and change. After all, we cannot change or shift what we do not see.
The following are a few of the many ways to start cultivating a healthier relationship with yourself.
What are Your Thoughts?
We all have a number of specific and repetitive thoughts we’ve developed over the course of our lives, and we’re so used to them we hardly even notice they’re there. Yet, the things we think and believe are profoundly powerful. Take the time to really listen to the things you’re telling yourself. Ask yourself what thoughts have a negative impact on the way you feel about yourself. For example, maybe it’s, I can’t do this or I’m too old. These stories we tell ourselves impact our behaviors and impede our path to change. It’s crucial also to focus on thoughts that support our well-being so we can call on them to support us when we’re facing challenges while we work toward our goals.
Embrace Your Emotions
Life is all too hectic, and it’s easy to go through the day without checking in on what we’re experiencing emotionally. How aware are you of your emotions? Do you accept them or do you judge them? Deepening our awareness of our emotional life helps us to understand what we need and to make effective and healthy decisions for ourselves. Embracing our emotions and ultimately ourselves contributes to healthy self-esteem.
Self Care – What do you need?
One of the results of low self-esteem is that we often lose sight of our own needs and wants, which impacts how much satisfaction we can enjoy in life and our overall wellness. Begin to ask yourself the question, what do I need and deserve? Perhaps you need some time each day to recharge your energy by doing an activity you really enjoy or by having a bit of quiet time. At first this question may not be an easy one but with practice and over time as your self-esteem builds so will your ability to come up with meaningful answers for you.
Move Forward and Be Easy on Yourself
To learn more about your thoughts, emotions, self care and other ways to build our self-esteem, we can do research, read books or listen to audio material. It’s also useful to draw on our life experiences and to speak with people who have gone through similar issues. Often a therapist can offer support, guidance and insight throughout this process.
Building a healthy relationship with ourselves and making change in our lives can be challenging and at times is an emotionally painful process. That’s why it’s so important to work at a pace that is right for you. Change can be one of the hardest things we face and it rarely happens overnight. Successful change is often a gradual process and is best approached one step at a time.
By taking the time to get to truly know yourself, you give yourself the opportunity to build or solidify your self-esteem. Deepening this self-awareness helps us to connect more fully with what matters most to us and guides along the path to achieving our goals.